Our series of guest bloggers continues this week with the radiant Susan-Jane Rome, who, over the past 25 years, has worked with her clients on all levels -- mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, energetic to root out their deepest blocks, the ones they can't see themselves or don't even know are there. I feel so very grateful that she would share her voice and her experience with us this week, as she talks about how to utilize self-love as a part of your business (and life) strategy.
I can't help but be struck by the humble honor of being able to house these women's words each week. Writing authentically -- finding your voice, your message, and speaking from a place of self-awareness and connection -- is an always-evolving process.
Just as I have changed, so too has my ability to speak through my writing. From the words that I wrote in my first blog all of those years ago to the piece that I penned just yesterday, writing allows me to discover, along with my authentic voice, pieces of myself.
To be able to make space for these women's words each week has been the ultimate honor. To create and connect alongside them. To learn from them. To get a taste of their voice, their experience, and their message as they evolve, grow and create change.
I am so grateful for their support and to be a part of getting their work into the world. Truthfully, I have missed being here more than you know. Two more weeks, and I'll be back here with you all! The countdown is on for April 23rd!
Do you feel like your reality check has bounced?
Seriously. Life just isn’t measuring up no matter what you do. And you keep going.
Trying, with your whole heart. Putting your soul into your business. Showing up, connecting, sharing, giving.
And things just don’t change. Or they change for a minute, and then seem to go backwards. You feel stuck. You are stuck. Doubt shadows you. Anxiety hounds you. And the critic in your head doesn’t shut up.
Why? You’re doing your spiritual practices. Trying to stay in high vibration. Doing your best to take care of yourself. Of your loved ones. Of the few clients that you do have.
"What’s wrong with me?" you wonder.
You’re ashamed of your fear. Of not being further along. Of comparing yourself to the women who seem to naturally be themselves. Who’ve found their voices. Their niche. Their tribe.
You just don’t understand! Why?
Burning up with the desire to make a difference, to contribute, make an impact! To flourish and succeed. To live. To fly. To be free.
But the bills keep pouring in, and there’s no more money to keep paying them. And then a little dribbles in. Again. Your business, which is supposed to be your pride and joy, your rocket to freedom, feels like a boulder pulling you down. And you’re lost.
What do you do? Quit (read: crawl back to your 9-5 or corporate job)? Surrender to feeling bad, inadequate, not enough, unlovable?
Before you give up, give yourself the best shot at success. What is that you want to know?
I could say hire an expert, hire me. But that's not it. Or stop doing and try being, or stop trying so hard. But no, that’s not it either.
Here's where to start:
Make the decision to start loving yourself.
For anything to happen, what needs to happen? If I’m going to visit my girlfriend for coffee, before anything, I need to decide: “That’s what I’m going to do.” Otherwise, no matter what, I won’t get there. It’ll just remain a thought in my head.
Once you make the decision to love yourself, where do you start? By learning to accept yourself. (And yes, you may need guidance with this.)
But what matters most is that you make this your #1 priority. And that you are willing to do some work. The right work.
Start by doing one thing a day that makes your heart smile. It may be thanking the sun. Or singing. Writing, drawing, dancing. Talking to a stranger, to the flowers. Going for a walk. Smile! The simple act of using your smile muscles tricks your brain into thinking you’re happy. Try it right now - a big, broad smile.
Remind yourself that feeling your painful feelings is expanding your capacity to feel incredible love and joy. Emotions are energy in motion, so when you block the energy of one emotion you block your energy. Whatever you resist persists. And this resistance must show up somewhere in your life. When you embrace feeling what is, not only will it change, it will allow the new to flow in.
So let yourself feel okay about about feeling bad! Tell yourself, “It’s okay with me to feel whatever I feel, ‘good’ or ‘bad’. In fact, good and bad are just my judgement and don’t really mean anything other than the meaning I ascribe to them. I think to myself, I’ll feel, heal and deal. Besides I’ve heard that Empaths, Healers, Intuitives feel deeply and I do think I belong in that group.
The next major key is to...
Be. Here. Now.
Ask yourself, "What am I focusing on right now?”
You’ll probably find that you're thinking about what you don’t want. If you want to stop feeling ‘bad’ so that you can move forwards because you’re blocked, it’s critical that you find a way to put your mind on what you do want instead of what you don’t want. Because we attract what we think about.
But you have have to present and in the moment to notice this. To hear your thoughts.
So, I want you to marry two little words:
This is where all your power lies. Stop time traveling into the past and into the future. Stay present, in the moment. Present yourself in the present. Empowered. That's exactly how you feel when you step into a perfect moment of "now" - the place where the past and future disappear (along with your fears, stress and anxiety). How? As soon as you realize you’re not here, stop and listen. Really listen, hear all the sounds around you. All of them. You'll focus your brain, in the now.
Whatever you’re saying to yourself is probably about what you don’t have: talent, ability, success or whatever it is. The truth is you may not have or be experiencing it now, and we have no idea what the future holds. You don’t have it yet, that could change in an instant.
Interrupt your assumption, the meaning you’re giving to something. Your assumptions aren’t facts, they’re your interpretation. Go to the facts. Ask yourself, “Where am I physically?” See what you see, smell what you smell, be aware of the physical sensations in your body. You'll expand your perception of your options.
A sunflower is beautiful as a sunflower, and a rose is beautiful as a rose.
You’re you, beautiful as you. Embrace that. Be that. Decide to be proud of who you are. The exquisite child of the Universe God created you to be.
Your people need you. I’m proud of you. I’m your tribe. That’s how, of the billions of people in the world, we both landed in lovely Kate’s land.
Susan-Jane Rome has 25 years experience helping women. She works on all levels mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, energetic to root out their deepest blocks -- the ones they can't see themselves or don't even know are there. Her passion is for her clients to fully show up in their businesses and lives. Living with freedom, success, power and joy, making major impact, and creating a ripple effect of empowered women.
She is the founder of Rome Bodies LLC a private coaching, energy work, health, healing, and personal training practice that has sustained itself in New York City for decades entirely on referrals. She’s also the creator of the Rome Technique, a psychophysical brain training technique that teaches the art of mindfulness and practical manifestation. Susan's work has drawn New York’s top creators and business people including James Gandolfini and NEXT Model Management, a global Modelling Agency one the best in the world, Les Marshark one of the elite top 10-15 male voice over artists in the country ( the voice of the Oscars, many sports events and so much more.)
Susan is ultimately a healer, known for creating a profoundly sacred space for her clients to transform into who they want to be, emerging aligned and whole. Authentic and empowered. She can almost smell where their genius lives, and lovingly guides them to discover and monetize it. Her clients call her magic. Susan is trained in NLP, the Alexander Technique, Pilates, Bioenergetics, Core-energetics, psychology, acting, drug and alcohol counseling and more. She’s studied with world renowned teachers and continues to, being a lifelong learner. She lives in New York City, moving here from her native South Africa, and works with clients all over the world.
*The views expressed in this post are those of Susan-Jane Rome and not of Kate K. McCarthy or www.katekmccarthy.com.