in honor of all that i will be.
What I am not.
In honor of all that I will be. Written as me, today.
As potential sits, waiting patiently, in every cell wall.
On this path, the discovery of yes has started at no.
What I am, revealed by what I am not.
To say “no” to every misaligned “should” and potential might-be-maybe-could-be to free me for every “hell yes!” and heartfelt click into place.
I am not a doormat or a savior or a sap.
I am not a vessel for sorrow or shame.
I am not you, I am not her, I am not them. And, yet, perhaps, I am a little of each of you.
I am not the peacekeeper. You can keep your own peace.
I am not the answer to the hole that you have in your heart. Believe me when I say that that is yours and yours alone to fill. Nothing else will do.
I am not anger or depression or anxiety. And yet, I carry them with me, one or two or three at a time. To feel, process, release and use as fuel for light and love.
I am not a writer for the hard-hearted or the phony, for the fraudulent or the ego-driven.
I am not beholden to those who would break down my boundaries for their own self-interest.
I am not yours to consume. I am mine to give.
I am not static. I am movement and change and life. Made whole by the waves of light and emotion, wholly conscious in the sea of intention and integration. What is true right now may come to pass, and my soul will evolve and expand with new wisdom and experience.
I am not filled by someone else, by something new, by theories or surface-level platitudes. I can only be filled by me. By being every inch, every scar, every hair, the fullest embodiment of myself.
I am not half-hearted. I am whole. Perhaps splintered in some places and healing in others, but whole. Not broken. Not breakable. I show up as all of me or not at all.
Standing firm in what I am not.
Opened up to what I might be.